I posted this on proana but OMG!!! 6 lbs!!!!!! i cant belive it how can i gained 6 Efing pounds but not eating much??? why is my doby doing this to me im so depressed today... i havent been this depressed in years!!! anyways i feel like i should sleep all day and just stay in bed...

Dear Journal....

This week was so bad..... On mon, tue my ED was out of control and binge were awful.. Then on wednesday ... Had a big accident that resulted me being in the hospital getting stitched.... Im not suicidal at all.... Just got SO angry and wanted to hit myself... but I never noticed that the working knife I had in my hands was'nt closed and had a fresh blade sticking out......... I feel so stupid,..... anyways... gotta glimpse at what a muscle really looked like....

I got down to 96.8 which is wow, but still isn't enough my ass and thighs are so fat I want to lose another inch...

Took lax tonight cause its Friday and on friday it's a official eat what ever junk you want to eat... Not my idea but i don't mind if its just once a week.... the lax takes good care of it

ED isn't so bad now...

Current Mood: guilty

I started off doing so well today.... no breaky, small lunch and small diner, but i had to mess it all up on chocolate cake and a bowl of cereal... Also I had to make the groceries with him... he picked out yummy stuff... crap know im gonna binge... I hate this.... cant wait to live by myself...

Current Mood: annoyed

I Totally Bindge today... Cheesy pasta, cake and cereal... Something like 1000Cal all at once... I didn't know my body could hold in a such amount of food... I'm such a pig... I just can't stop once I started... I can wait to live alone... This will be so much easer ... I just wont buy any food so that I wont binge on anything... Tried to purge but apparently, I'm bad at it... I purged maybe a fifth of what I ingested....

I'm so worthless...

Current Mood: angry

I hate winter!!!

Current Mood: thoughtful

Just Joined :)

Current Mood: satisfied